From, Crap its happening again~ to, I'm 32 weeks along?

It's really been a long long time since posting on a regular basis. So I will just give a quick update for anyone out there still keeping tabs.

So much has been going on; I can't even wrap my brain around it. I feel as though I'm being catapulted through time and space and just holding on to Jesus for dear life! It's a good place to be.

I am pregnant! After my miscarriage last October I was really hoping to get pregnant again but I didn't really expect it to again happen ever. I had taken a new job and my husband and I were trying to save up money to adopt a baby, and I was getting really excited about that direction for my life, even though it would have take years for us to get there.

In March I went out for some shopping "therapy." It was around time for Auntie Flow to arrive. Of course, not the best time to go shopping for clothes. I seemed more bloated than normal though, the crazy thought went threw my head that maybe you are pregnant. Ha, infertile lady dumb thought; so I went ahead and bought my new wardrobe. After four years of infertility and one devastating miscarriage the month to month torment of thoughts that you maybe pregnant because your bloated, crabby, tired, etc, were a constant plague, so I've just learned to suppress them.

However, I just couldn't shake this nagging feeling that I was pregnant. I had been losing weight every week and that came to a screeching halt and I was so bloated. So I did what any crazy infertile woman would do and peed on one of those sticks. You know what, the darn thing came back positive!

Fast forward to -the O' crap its happening again. I was about 5-6 weeks pregnant and I started to have a lot of pain on my right side. Yada yada, I went to the insane ER somewhere in Chicago. They did an ultrasound and told me that it didn't look really good. If you'll remember the previous baby had a heart rate that was too slow; same story with this one :(

I was devastated, I prayed and cried. That's all that I could do. But to my surprise that baby is still hear, still growing and developing! I've been in an utter fog these past months. It's finally starting to settle in my brain that I'm actually going to have a baby, Lord willing of course.

So we had to move because I lost my job ((I had a crack pot doctor who wouldn't grant me leave from work when I was so ill for many months.)) I can't believe, besides being a prego, all the amazing things that the Lord has done and the strange path that He has lead us on.

While I have no cute little nursery to decorate, and we live in a funky little cabin with critters living in the walls and weird funky odors and like no space; I've never been more thankful to God. I've been able to serve Him in ways I never even imagined.

I love the Lord Jesus for His sacrifice and I hope that every day I grow more and more into His image. I pray that this child will know the Lord and that my husband and I would be examples of Christ likeness to her, we think it's a girl.

Thank you all for your prayers. I'm keeping you in mine.