The Grace for all Trials is in the Gospel of Jesus Christ

I was listening to a song on the radio a few days ago and the words in the chorus really got me thinking. Its a popular song on my Christian station and I don't think I really ever was so struck by the words before and I wondered mmmmmmmmmm God? are you really ALL that I want? I can say that so easily when I'm in worship mode but is that true of me. It should be, but is it? It just seems my sinful nature always wants more, better, faster and I grumble, covet, and despair when I don't get Jesus AND. I have Jesus do I need the AND?

I was really convicted and torn over this discovery! I mean I've always known to a certain degree my idolatry but God showed me some more degrees of it I guess. I'm convinced that I really need to learn in my heart and apply all that I have in Christ's gospel to over come this and be content and joyful. I have been saved from eternal hell all my sins have been forgiven because Jesus died for me............while I was still an enemy of God. I get to have a relationship with God Almighty isn't this MORE than enough. It's certainly infinitely more that I ever deserve! Honestly I should be glowing because I have been graced by God!

I'm convinced that through going to God's word and learning more about the gospel of God that I will grow more and more in love with the Lord. And from this His grace will abound and will be flowing through all my trials and my heart purging me of sin drawing me closer it Him and His people.

Any way it's been a tough week to be an infertile gal and I've grumbled and despaired way too often, I just need a fresh infusion of the grace of the Gospel. The gospel is every thing and I hope I remember this. It's the only way to live a fulfilled life whether I have the blessing of children or not.

Father God please give grace for every trial and draw us all closer to you.

Very often closeness to God is the grace of the trial and I'm thankful for that :)

God is Good

It’s sure been a while since my last post! I've just been so busy with work and what ever that it’s been difficult to get to my computer for any length of time.

God is so good to me and I’m so thankful to be in His kingdom by Christ’s precious blood!
It truly amazes me how God cares for every detail of my life. He permits evil, and grants the grace to do battle against it. He allows trials and temptations, and He lifts me up on eagles wings. He even gives me my daily food and drink and clothing to wear! I’m in awe of the fact that God created me knowing that I would be infertile and that He is getting glory from this. I’m just not totally sure how it all works, thankfully He does!


“Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him: yea, I have made him.” Isaiah 43:7


It’s been a struggle for me at work lately, just walking into the locker room can be over whelming for me on one of my more sensitive days. All of the locker are covered with colorful photos of babies and children doing all sorts of cute things. But sigh, mine is blank, barren, blah. I think I will eventually get some pretty scripture magnets to decorate with. Any way that’s not really the point. It’s just been so obvious to me that every one can have children, every one……..except that small percentage of infertile couples. I think that’s why it can be so hard to find some one who understands and why people can be so judgemental because for most every body kids just are, it's easy.

Unfortunately they ARE considered to be more of a nuisance than a blessing to their parents. When people tell me that “I’m so lucky that I don’t have kids” the Lord blesses me to be able to answer them back and to lovingly correct them. No: Children are a blessing from heaven.


“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Psalm 127:3

Sometimes they say to me, “Well you don’t understand because don’t have kids, some day you‘ll know. Just wait!”


Of course it doesn’t really matter how I feel about children. God has spoken and He makes it clear that they are a blessing and should be cherished, tended to nurtured, and loved. And I will stand on that. They are not to be bullied around or yelled and screamed at spoiled rotten or kept at day care for 12 hours for their entire life. But that’s just the way most folks see their children as an inconvenience to their self centered desires and ambitions. It’s how the world and it’s system works. And if not for the grace of God I would be the same way, but He is remaking me into some one different than that.

But it is still challenging to be told things like this on almost a daily basis. So I pray and need prayer that I would:

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

And that I would

“…..seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.” Colossians 3:1


I think I very often can get in to trouble when I start to dwell on my self and my circumstances. I have to train my mind to dwell on the Infinite and Glorious One, Jesus Christ!

On a side note~

I started this blog to express my struggles with infertility, mainly with others struggling with this and to document what God was doing through infertility. Also I wanted to hopefully encourage others going through similar circumstances. My post are expressions of my heart and yes I agree often my heart can be ugly (i.e. sinful). So please keep that in mind when you read. I will readily admit and agree with God that I am an idolater, no surprise there! And wanting children sooooo badly can easily become an idol in my heart. I’m very thankful that He has used this trial to expose that and too make me aware. I just want this blog to be a place where I’m free to share my thoughts and inner dialog with God, and it’s not always pretty! I just thought that I would make readers aware.


Thanks for hanging in there and reading such a long post :)

There’s so much the Lord has taught me these past few days, especially though reading the Gospel of Luke! So much application with infertility and so much to think about………more on that later. Jesus is truly my God and my helper!

The Potter Works Only with Soft Clay!

I hope you enjoy this like I did. It's from the GFA magazine the 5 minutes with K.P. section. I love K.P. and his heart for the Lord!


The Potter Works Only with Soft Clay!

When I was a boy, growing up in India, I often went to apotter's house near my high school. I was fascinated to watch him make clay vessels. During those visits, I never saw the potter take a hardened lump of clay and put it on his wheel to make something out of it. He, just like every other potter in the world, used only soft and tender clay to work with. So does God!
The prophet Jeremiah tells us that God is like a potter and His people are the clay He wants to form into a beautiful vessel. In order to accomplish this, God looks for soft and pliable hearts.
Man measures the quality and usefulness of a person by his education, ability and expertise. Yet God determines his true value by the condition of his heart: "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7).

What Happens if the Clay Is Hard?

If the clay is hard, the potter will spend days pouring water on it and pounding it thoroughly until it becomes soft. It took God 20 long years of "pouring and pounding" until Jacob's heart became soft enough. Moses needed 40 years of desert life to become the meekest man on earth (Numbers 12:3) who could lead Israel out of Egypt.
The Bible warns us not to harden our hearts: "Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" (Hebrews 3:15)."Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!" - John 1:29
It is possible for us as believers to have a tender heart for a season, but then when God speaks to us about an issue, to choose not to humble ourselves but rather to harden our hearts. This is not a good place for us to be, because the Bible declares: "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6).
The Lord will not just let us go. He will allow circumstances to pound us so our hearts will once again become soft and pliable. The people of Israel are the perfect example of this. Just think of how many times God allowed them to face famines, hardships, oppression, defeat and captivity in order to soften their hearts and help them return to Him!

What Causes Our Hearts to Become Hard?

Being poisoned by negative talk. One person in a church or ministry is dissatisfied, bitter, critical and unwilling to change. He starts to talk negatively and poisons others. Soon the atmosphere of love among the brothers and sisters is replaced by disunity, anger and hardness of heart toward each other and the Lord.
An elevated view of ourselves. We feel important because we do something significant for God's Kingdom, and we don't recognize that our heart is filled with pride, arrogance and an exalted view of ourselves. Often the symptoms don't show up until years later when our heart is no longer soft in the Potter's hand.
Rebellion. Any form of rebellion is like a tiny seed that, if not dealt with, will grow and eventually harden our heart and bring destruction. It begins with a tiny issue or a thought like this one: "Who does he think he is to tell me what to do? My life is none of his business!"—and it ultimately ends in death.

What Should We Do to Keep Our Hearts Soft?

Don't take God's grace for granted. Grace is given to those who are humble, not to those who are right or feel indispensable.

Watch over your heart (Proverbs 4:23). Don't keep company with those who spread negative talk, sow disunity or have a rebellious spirit. Love them and pray for them, but have no part with them. Believe me, you and I are not strong enough to withstand the poison they spread. It's in the atmosphere, and we breathe it in whether we intend to or not.

Submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21). Don't fight for your rights. Be willing to give up something. Learn to let it be.
Don't think of yourself more highly than you should (Romans 12:3). Remember that all the gifts, talents and ministry you have are given to you by the Lord. Nothing is of yourself. It's all God's grace.

Be careful from whom you receive your counsel. That's especially important when you are disappointed because your expectations are not met. Don't go to a brother or sister who is not mature in the Lord and who sympathizes and agrees with your complaints and tears. Instead, go to someone who is mature and who can help you see the hand of God and His purpose behind the things you face.

Repent and run to the cross. If need be, do this a thousand times a day to maintain the tenderness of your heart. Whenever you seek the limelight, want to take credit, get hurt or when your expectations are not fulfilled and your plans don't work out, don't fight; go to the cross.

God always seeks to do one thing with us on the Potter's wheel—not to make us more powerful and famous, but to make us more like His Son, the Lord Jesus.