I have left the building

My husband and I were invited over for dinner with a family from church that we didn't know very well. I did know that they have 5 kids and that the wife looks like she's 16! Amazing. Another couple was there that we didn't know that well either. I was feeling better (I was in a car accident with some crazy driver on Wednesday) so we decided to get out and make some friends. We had a really nice time. My husband got to talk about things of the Lord with some really good strong believers, the men hit it off really well.

Of course I knew for me right away that there would be some awkward moments with the women because one was very cute very sweet a newly wed and pregnant. So naturally the conversation would be steered in that direction. God is so good and gracious to me. I was able to participate some what normally in the conversations and I honestly had such a nice time with them. Man I hope I can be pregnant some day!

My husband told me about an amazing but true story he heard on a Christian radio show in Chicago. There was a couple who tried for a long time to have children with no success. They found out about two young teenage girls in their area who were pregnant. They were going to adopt each young woman's babay. It turned out that both women ended up having twins, so they went from 0 kids to 4 kids in a matter of weeks. Shortly after taking home the four babies, the wife who was unable to have children became pregnant with triplets (excuse me whilst I throw up). So in one year, they have gone from 0 kids now to 7! Just amazing, the parents were Christians and were praying and trusting God Almighty and look what He did for them! Praise the Lord!

Little Miss Hermit

As a woman struggling with IF, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be around people, especially Christians. I would rather curl up with a good book or chat with my husband and never leave the house. I'm becoming this weird hermit and I don't like that! At this point in my walk with Christ I thought I would be an amazing woman of God (with children), serving in His church and helping His people whom Christ identifies so closely with. Instead I find my self hiding from them and becoming weary of what they say to me. And it feels like I've taken five giant steps back in my walk with Christ.

I hear Mom's complain about their children in appalling ways. I have seen how they treat their children and its not always nice, degrading and embarrassing them. Now I'm not saying that they are horrible parents, no way! It's just that as an outsider when I come and visit Parentville it's not always so pretty. And I don't think most Christians appreciate what a gift that their children are, and that they are God's precious children on loan to them.

I do know that they all long to raise godly children. Its an impossible standard parents put on themselves to raise godly children for Christ. You must admit that you can't do it and throw yourself in to the loving arms of Christ and be totally dependant His power. I see so many parents that dwell in survival mode night and day, my heart goes out to them they don't see that the power of God is available to them and it seems that they don't enjoy parenting at all. Every thing is done in their own strength and they are very weary. It would be nice if the moms that I talked to just honestly said that they are struggling and need Christ's guidance instead of complaining about their blessings and looking for ways out of parenting and passing the buck to a day care provider.

I just haven't figured out what to say to a mom who complains about not getting enough sleep, I would die for that! Or my child is acting up all the time I can't take it any more, I long to teach them and to discipline my children in a godly way. Mom's who know I'm struggling complain about all sorts of stuff regarding their kids in front of me. It's like nails down a chalk board and its really hard for me to hear. I wonder what I complain about that really annoys others? I know its hard to be a mom, I think I understand that. I just want them to love their children!

If some one was longing to be married and God hasn't given them a spouse yet I wouldn't dare complain about my husband in front of them, in fact it would lead me to grow in appreciation for my husband and thankfulness to God for him. I wouldn't give them half baked advise about how to get a spouse or complain and then say, "Well, you should be glad that you don't have to deal with this yet." My heart would be tender to them, but maybe that's because I know what its like to not have the longings of your heart met.

All this to say I am struggling with people and my natural sinful instinct is to retreat into my protective shell and avoid pain and confrontation with others. I'm praying that the Lord will grow me in love for Him and His people. And that I will abound in grace and mercy towards them forgiving them always for the hurt that they often cause me. I hope soon that I can come out of my shell and be useful for Christ sake. I want to enjoy His people and minister to them. I want to consider it all JOY!

Let me know how you have learned to deal with Mom's who complain about their kids. Are you upfront with them or do you just pray for them, let me know :)

Article

I found this article on via the google news page and I found a few things just appalling. First of all I applaud this women and praise God that she did not listen to the doctor's "advice" to "selectively reduce" her pregnancy! The pressure this mother must have been under to kill her babies must have been enormous. Please notice the wording that states that the babies are, "doing 'amazingly well.'" It sort of has a snobbish over tone of, this stupid women decided to have 8 babies, oh the nerve of her. Then the last paragraph I find just plain old disturbing. It again implies that only stupid women don't "reduce" and that maybe some day "they" will force women to reduce. Please read and let me know what you think. Did I read too much in to this?

Hospital: Calif. octuplets doing 'amazingly well'
By SHAYA TAYEFE MOHAJER – 58 minutes ago

BELLFLOWER, Calif. (AP) — The nation's second set of live-born octuplets were all breathing on their own Wednesday, 48 hours after a woman gave birth to the surprising bunch in Southern California.

Three of the babies were still receiving supplemental oxygen, but were inhaling and exhaling on their own.

"They're doing amazingly well," said Socorro Serrano, spokeswoman for Kaiser Permanente's Bellflower Medical Center, where the babies were born.

The mother, whose identity remains a secret, had not yet been able to hold any of the delicate babies — six boys and two girls — who were born weighing between 1 pound, 8 ounces and 3 pounds, 4 ounces. However, she was able to see them in their incubators Tuesday night.

Five of the babies have begun feedings on donated breast milk through tubes. The three others were expected to begin feeding later Wednesday.

The mother has begun pumping breast milk in anticipation of eight hungry babies, said Serrano.

Doctors were surprised by the birth of the eighth baby, because they were only anticipating seven, said Dr. Harold Henry, one of 46 staff members who delivered the babies by Caesarean section.

Details about how the octuplets were conceived have not been released, but doctors not involved in the delivery believe the mother was likely on fertility treatment.

Dr. Daniel Mishell, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Southern California's Keck School of Medicine, recommends carefully monitoring pregnancies involving fertility drugs by ultrasound.

Multiple births can be dangerous for babies and their mother, and in some cases, may result in lasting health problems. However, in cases where a woman insists on having multiple births, there's a limit to a doctor's role.

"You can't mandate a reduction of pregnancies," Mishell said. "You can advise them, but you can't mandate them."

Martin Luther King

In honor of a great man of God Martin Luther King. I always marvel at the sinfulness of this nation that allowed such racial discrimination to continue for so long. Where were the Christians? Did they speak out against this? If those in politics would have just read their bibles and trusted in the words of the Lord they would have seen that all men are equal in God's eyes. And according to the word of God we are all one race descendants of Adam. This man was clearly used mightily by God!

quick up date

Sorry I haven't been able to post my update I've been a little busy. I saw my new doctor last week and He was a nice man but I could tell that he was in a big hurry because he had a lot of patients to see. He didn't have a whole lot to say except that I was over weight and that maybe loosing a couple pounds would help. Ekkk!!! He said I "wasn't that bad though." I got a laugh out of that!

It tends to annoy me when people suggest that I loose weigh (to get pregnant) because when I first started out trying to get pregnant I was an OK weight. Then after months and months of nothing and quiting my physically intensive job and sitting at home like a Lop and being a bit depressed helped me to gain 65 lbs in about 8mos! So all that to say when I was less chubby I still couldn't conceive. But I digress its still a good idea to drop a few pounds so I will try, and I was told to avoid wheat and common food allergy items.

He also recommended an RE for me to go see after I loose some weight. SO I'm still hoping that this will be the year that God has for us to bring a child into our home! I'm not going to lie I've been struggling with realizing that I'm getting older and that I have NO children yet. It hurts so much some times. Also it's been a real challenge to talk to people. This infertility thing and other trials have really made me shy, because I'm hurting and most people have nice families a big home and a good job etc. and I feel like my life has been completely shaken stirred and turned around and I don't want to bother any one with my issues. I have a couple of good friends that love me and are concerned for me and I for them and of course my husband which is such a blessing. But I don't have a particular group that I belong to and I often feel left out (sounds pathetic I know), I'm like a square peg in a round hole. Most women my age usually have young children and babies and their life is going wonderfully and my life is just different. The good thing about being so out of place is that I'm totally reliant and dependant on Jesus and I lean on Him for every thing.

So my next step in this trial is to try and loose some weight call the RE and keep praying to my Lord for His grace. And "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:14

"Be careful for nothing ; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

Doctor Doctor

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a new doctor to get a second opinion on things and he's also closer to us. I'm not really excited about it, I'm annoyed that I have to keep going to these appointments. They are some what taxing on a women. I do hope that he will figure out something that help me to conceive, it's so confusing though because I know in my heart of hearts that it is God alone who allows conception and not mans scientific techniques and medicine.

I've never been pregnant. Never! Not even close. And at this stage in the game I think all I can hope for is a miracle. So I do ask the Lord to allow me to conceive, I know that He can if that is His will for me. I pray for His guidance and wisdom as I continue to walk through this trial with Him by my side. I don't want to cry at my appointment, my tears come so easily now. I hope that through Jesus that my heart will be where it needs to be to ask lots of questions and I hope that the doctor will be honest and helpful. I hope I will be pregnant soon, "sigh." I found my self day dreaming the other day about what a JOY it would be to bring a new baby home :) But if not, I have JOY,JOY,JOY in Jesus Christ and in His inheritance and promises.

I just found out that an old friend of mine is expecting a baby very soon. And I was so happy for her but then she told me that she had a dream that I was pregnant. For what ever reason that made me so sad, it bothered me. No, I'm not pregnant. I think every one I know has had a dream that I was pregnant, unless God has clearly sent the dream I just wish people would not tell me this. I have had dreams that I know CLEARLY have been sent from God as a comfort to my soul during this time, He is so kind and gracious.

Please if you would remember me in your prayers. We are still looking into adoption right now and doing some "home improvements" (our house needs work) to help with our home study. I'm just hoping that 2009 will be the year that we get to welcome a new baby into our lives.