Does it ever seem like your world has been completely turned upside down? And that life has suddenly changed course and you are going full speed ahead in a direction your not sure you even want to go? Trials and tribulations are pressing in on all sides and wickedness abounds every where you turn in the world, and you get no relief from the world. Then you come to God with request, anxieties, and the desires of your heart.........................................silence, or so it seems.
And then you find your self crying out to God not unlike the prophet Habakkuk.
"O Lord, how long shall I cry, and thou wilt not hear!....." Habakkuk 1:2
The Lord has taught me when I start to slip into despair to cling to Him and His words in scripture. I especially like God's response to Habakkuk. ".....for I will work a work in your days, which ye will not believe, though it be told you." Habakkuk 1:5
I often wonder what marvelous work is God doing through my infertility struggles. I know what He is doing in my own heart which is just tremendous. But I often wonder what else my Sweet Lord Jesus is using my bareness for? And what joy it will bring me some day to find out the work He accomplished through it for His kingdom and His glory. I would not have wanted to walk through this fiery trial by my choosing, but I am so grateful for all it has accomplished known and unknown.
My life right now seems shrouded with dark clouds of confusion with so many decisions to make and paths to choose; what job to take, do we move on with what our RE had planned, do we look into adoption. ( I would love to adopt also but I struggle with that because I so want to be pregnant and have that experience, is that selfish?) I have hope that He will allow me to conceive, every month I'm still hopeful . I pray that He will lead me by His Spirit and His word to be obedient and joyfully submissive to what He has planned. And that He will keep me humble and dependant on Him.
Six Plus Two
10 years ago
I feel your pain hon. Month after Month of disappointment. God has a plan for everyone sometimes we just dont understand his plan but we have to trust in him and he will provide away. I am praying for you.
ReplyDelete"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5
ReplyDeleteEvery day we should wake and thank God for the gift of another day to serve Him and ask Him how we can glorify Him today.
Love,
Me
Lifting you up to our Father, may you clearly hear Him and clearly see His plan. Hugs! ~Jenileigh
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. I know that sometimes it gets really hard. I often feel like God doesn't hear me, but I have to trust in what I know is true about Him, not what I feel. He has promised to never leave us! We must hold tightly to those promises.
ReplyDeleteI'm on a mission to find some purpose and some good in my infertility, too. I'm thankful that we have this group of believers to encourage each another - it's definitely a good thing!
Thank you for your honesty and your encouragement.