I got some blood work results back and every thing came back totally normal....good news right? (maybe to a normal person) To tell you the truth I was kinda hoping that they would find some thing wrong. Some thing that they could "fix" to make my "unexplained" infertility go away. My doctor had me do a 7 panel thyroid test, he was thinking that some thing was wrong with my thyroid resulting in a whole slue of symptoms including infertility. But every thing was normal. For whatever reason I found my self sad and crying a little bit in the car ride home, infertility does weird things to your emotions! I just wanted to take a little pill to make it all better. So yes I still find my self hoping a little bit in medicine every now and then......especially when the doctor thinks we may have a hot lead. I just want a baby and I was really wanting to be one step closer to that goal. But honestly I am very thankful that I have nothing seriously wrong with me, it's just hard when every thing comes back normal and unexplained all the time.
I don't mind having a problem as long as I can feel I moving closer to "solving" the problem. With unexplained infertility there is nothing to work on, nothing to fix, no problem that needs solving. Sooooo I just wait.............................I don't know what God's plans for my fertility are. But He does, so I trust Him and I am thankful that all my struggles with infertility are not in vein. He is using my circumstances for His glory, but today I am struggling with finding joy and peace with in my heart with this understanding that I have in my head. I pray that He will help me with this, and He is so faithful I know that He will.
Six Plus Two
10 years ago
Just wanted you to know that I've felt exactly this way many times before and thought how weird it seems. Who would want something wrong with them? But in those situations we do want to know what it is that's wrong so we can fix it. It IS frustrating to follow a lead and realize it's a dead end.
ReplyDeletePraying for you today!
(Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting.)
I too can understand exactly how you feel. I thought that when we finally decided that we had to do something, seek the help of an RE, I was completely and utterly convinced of one or two things. One, dh's sperm count was either too low or wasn't swimming correctly, or two, my tubes were blocked and that if we hadn't sought out the help on an RE, then later in life it would be discovered for whatever reason and we would live out the rest of our lives regretting never seeking help, because after all we could have been fixed!
ReplyDeleteAlas, that is not the case. Every test has come back good and normal and while I'm grateful for my help and that dh's its so confusing to have no clue what is going on with my body and why in the world we can't conceive.
I'm praying for you friend. Hang in there.
I can imagine it's hard not knowing why everything isn't working the way you want it to.
ReplyDeleteI am right here beside you. Please forgive me for all of the times that I haven't been.
"Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is Thine; Thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and Thou art exalted as Head above all" (1 Chron. 29:11).
I know how you feel, because I am going through the same thing. Unexplain infertility is the hardest thing to cope with. and it is weired because nothing that nothing is wrong doesn't make it easier. For me it means there is something wrong which they haven't found yet.
ReplyDeleteHard as it is we have a father who feels and knows our aches, he feels our pains and is working things out for our good behind the scenes.
It will come to pass wait for it.
Thanks for the comment. Your site is so uplifting. I pray that God guides you and leads you to the next step. Keep the faith!
ReplyDelete