God is Good

It’s sure been a while since my last post! I've just been so busy with work and what ever that it’s been difficult to get to my computer for any length of time.

God is so good to me and I’m so thankful to be in His kingdom by Christ’s precious blood!
It truly amazes me how God cares for every detail of my life. He permits evil, and grants the grace to do battle against it. He allows trials and temptations, and He lifts me up on eagles wings. He even gives me my daily food and drink and clothing to wear! I’m in awe of the fact that God created me knowing that I would be infertile and that He is getting glory from this. I’m just not totally sure how it all works, thankfully He does!


“Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him: yea, I have made him.” Isaiah 43:7


It’s been a struggle for me at work lately, just walking into the locker room can be over whelming for me on one of my more sensitive days. All of the locker are covered with colorful photos of babies and children doing all sorts of cute things. But sigh, mine is blank, barren, blah. I think I will eventually get some pretty scripture magnets to decorate with. Any way that’s not really the point. It’s just been so obvious to me that every one can have children, every one……..except that small percentage of infertile couples. I think that’s why it can be so hard to find some one who understands and why people can be so judgemental because for most every body kids just are, it's easy.

Unfortunately they ARE considered to be more of a nuisance than a blessing to their parents. When people tell me that “I’m so lucky that I don’t have kids” the Lord blesses me to be able to answer them back and to lovingly correct them. No: Children are a blessing from heaven.


“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Psalm 127:3

Sometimes they say to me, “Well you don’t understand because don’t have kids, some day you‘ll know. Just wait!”


Of course it doesn’t really matter how I feel about children. God has spoken and He makes it clear that they are a blessing and should be cherished, tended to nurtured, and loved. And I will stand on that. They are not to be bullied around or yelled and screamed at spoiled rotten or kept at day care for 12 hours for their entire life. But that’s just the way most folks see their children as an inconvenience to their self centered desires and ambitions. It’s how the world and it’s system works. And if not for the grace of God I would be the same way, but He is remaking me into some one different than that.

But it is still challenging to be told things like this on almost a daily basis. So I pray and need prayer that I would:

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

And that I would

“…..seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.” Colossians 3:1


I think I very often can get in to trouble when I start to dwell on my self and my circumstances. I have to train my mind to dwell on the Infinite and Glorious One, Jesus Christ!

On a side note~

I started this blog to express my struggles with infertility, mainly with others struggling with this and to document what God was doing through infertility. Also I wanted to hopefully encourage others going through similar circumstances. My post are expressions of my heart and yes I agree often my heart can be ugly (i.e. sinful). So please keep that in mind when you read. I will readily admit and agree with God that I am an idolater, no surprise there! And wanting children sooooo badly can easily become an idol in my heart. I’m very thankful that He has used this trial to expose that and too make me aware. I just want this blog to be a place where I’m free to share my thoughts and inner dialog with God, and it’s not always pretty! I just thought that I would make readers aware.


Thanks for hanging in there and reading such a long post :)

There’s so much the Lord has taught me these past few days, especially though reading the Gospel of Luke! So much application with infertility and so much to think about………more on that later. Jesus is truly my God and my helper!