Rejoice

It's just past 2am and I've been rudely awakened my very persistent aunt flow, shes such a pain! How am I doing? Besides being uncomfortable and unable to get any sleep, I'm doing ok. My heart is mixed with joy, hope, when, how, why, sorrow, longings, grief, love, frustration, and rejoicing in the Lord.

Early on in this IF struggle, a very well meaning sister in the Lord told me, "You're going to have to rejoice when your period comes." She said this in a most cold, unloving, bossy way, and my reply was something brilliant like, uh huh. Mostly I just marveled at what was just said. I was a new Christian, not totally grounded yet and was just confused by my IF. I really could have used some biblical counsel here. It seemed like she was telling me to put on my fake church going smile on over my pain and sorrow and pretend like every things "ok" and to do other wise was a sin.

I've defiantly struggled and wrestled with those words for a couple years. I am reminded of them when my aunt comes to town. Again she meant well, so I think I finally figured out what she really meant, I think. I hope.

"Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near." Phil 4:4-5

Despite my circumstances (barrenness) I'm to rejoice in Jesus my Lord. Knowing full well that He loves me and proved this by dying for sinful me on the cross. He cares tenderly for His little lambs. His gospel is indeed good news to the poor! I rejoice, God is sovereign and for His glory He has decided to close my womb. I'm barren and for God's glory. My thinking says wouldn't my life full of children bring more glory to him than my lowly humble estate in barrenness. His ways are higher that mine. I rejoice in that too!

I rejoice that the Lord is near indeed. He comforts, holds, leads and guides me. He gives me rest and drink in this weary dry land. I rejoice because when I suffer I am being shaped in formed into a beautiful jem, with out spot, blemish, or wrinkle in His royal diadem. He is teaching me to be gentle in spirit full of love for people made in His image. I am lovingly being made, shaped, formed, broken and crushed in to His image. Its painful often however I wouldn't trade the work He's done in my heart, mind, spirit, soul for anything.
**************I Rejoice in My Lord and God!

Oh, one more thing I got this off the westminster shorter chatechisim of 1647......before your eyes start to glaze over, read it its good!

Westminister Shorter Chatechisem of 1647

What are the decrees of God?

Answer :The decrees of God are, His eternal purpose, according to the counsel of His will, whereby, for His own glory, He hath ordained whatsoever comes to pass.