OK first of all we (Husband and I) arrived early to our appointment through snow storm and all. But silly me never bothered to fill out the tons of paper work that they so graciously sent me weeks earlier.......some how with all the business this time of year and work I just forgot........duh!!!! They were a little annoyed and I felt like a total loser! So things didn't get off to a good start.
The doctor was great so nice and very skilled in this area. She had called my last doctor a glorified gynecologist and she would be right this new doctor has the skills. However she was a bit pushy with the IVF, and I understand why. From her perspective it offers us the best opportunity for a successful pregnancy. However for ethical reasons we are not comfortable with that option. She asked what exactly were our concerns about it and we told her and she tried to address our concerns. Honestly the only thing I don't like about IVF is the embryo selection part. The doctor "decides" what's a good embryo and what's not and I personally don't like that, I'm not comfortable with it at all. SO I digress.
She said that our best chances were with the injectables and we went through what all of that entails. She did the oh so fun ultrasound on me to check out my ovaries and uterus. She said that I have a big follicle now that looks like its ready to go.........fingers crossed on that!
But all of this to say I'm not sure that we are even going to do any of this. I was so excited and ready to go but my other half who is my better half has said that he doesn't want to do any treatments at all, period, end of story, NO.
Oh dear I hope that he changes his mind about this. He is my husband and whatever he decides I will see as my will in Christ Jesus. But I have to tell you that I was not happy and that's putting it mildly. I love him we need to pray about this lots and be honest and open with each other about the reality of what both options mean. I'm confused, hurt, sad, angry, sinful, lots to work through and hallelujah God is good and He will be our help and our guide through this difficult time.
People often say as scripture says that God is not a God of confusion. Implying that a person should always know what road to take. And that's very true when it pertains to who He is and what God commands and the way to salvation. However some times life is dark, deep, and mysterious and it's during those times that His sheep really stay close to their Shepherd's knee.
Thank you all so much for your love and prayers!!!
Six Plus Two
10 years ago
still exciting :) and excited for you.... and praying praying praying...
ReplyDeletetis true that God is not a a god of confusion.. but... that does not mean His people do not get confused, or walk in confusion at times... waiting on Him, seeking Him and loving one another and HIM first and foremost in the process is sometimes all we can do, when walking throug the chaos, or confusion....
sounds like the two of you will be, and have been, doing JUST that :)
and are on the right track :)
you are so loved! so prayed for!
thinking of you so much today especially... with it being so cold.. the children & I were praying for you, knowing how the cold is NOT your friend...
blessings in this time of prayer
You are so right. Sometimes clear direction comes in time. GOD's timing does not always sit well with us. I pray HE reveals HIMSELF and HIS direction for your lives to "both" you and your husband clearly.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and prayers,
andrea
Prayed for you yesterday and glad that it went well even though now there are major decisions to be made. It's so hard knowing when to start/stop treatments and how far to go with them. Maybe you won't have to think about it if that mature follicle will release : )
ReplyDeleteJust know that everything you are feeling is totally normal. Infertility is not a fight, its a war. A war on your emotions, your faith, your marriage and sometimes your physical body. God knows that you are feeling confused. He will not lead you in a path that is without His grace, love and mercy. Keep seeking Him and know that many are praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI prayed for you on appointment day and will continue to remember you and your husband both as you figure out the next steps. Asking that the Lord will bring you together in agreement as you seek His guidance along the way! Love ya.
ReplyDelete