As a woman struggling with IF, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be around people, especially Christians. I would rather curl up with a good book or chat with my husband and never leave the house. I'm becoming this weird hermit and I don't like that! At this point in my walk with Christ I thought I would be an amazing woman of God (with children), serving in His church and helping His people whom Christ identifies so closely with. Instead I find my self hiding from them and becoming weary of what they say to me. And it feels like I've taken five giant steps back in my walk with Christ.
I hear Mom's complain about their children in appalling ways. I have seen how they treat their children and its not always nice, degrading and embarrassing them. Now I'm not saying that they are horrible parents, no way! It's just that as an outsider when I come and visit Parentville it's not always so pretty. And I don't think most Christians appreciate what a gift that their children are, and that they are God's precious children on loan to them.
I do know that they all long to raise godly children. Its an impossible standard parents put on themselves to raise godly children for Christ. You must admit that you can't do it and throw yourself in to the loving arms of Christ and be totally dependant His power. I see so many parents that dwell in survival mode night and day, my heart goes out to them they don't see that the power of God is available to them and it seems that they don't enjoy parenting at all. Every thing is done in their own strength and they are very weary. It would be nice if the moms that I talked to just honestly said that they are struggling and need Christ's guidance instead of complaining about their blessings and looking for ways out of parenting and passing the buck to a day care provider.
I just haven't figured out what to say to a mom who complains about not getting enough sleep, I would die for that! Or my child is acting up all the time I can't take it any more, I long to teach them and to discipline my children in a godly way. Mom's who know I'm struggling complain about all sorts of stuff regarding their kids in front of me. It's like nails down a chalk board and its really hard for me to hear. I wonder what I complain about that really annoys others? I know its hard to be a mom, I think I understand that. I just want them to love their children!
If some one was longing to be married and God hasn't given them a spouse yet I wouldn't dare complain about my husband in front of them, in fact it would lead me to grow in appreciation for my husband and thankfulness to God for him. I wouldn't give them half baked advise about how to get a spouse or complain and then say, "Well, you should be glad that you don't have to deal with this yet." My heart would be tender to them, but maybe that's because I know what its like to not have the longings of your heart met.
All this to say I am struggling with people and my natural sinful instinct is to retreat into my protective shell and avoid pain and confrontation with others. I'm praying that the Lord will grow me in love for Him and His people. And that I will abound in grace and mercy towards them forgiving them always for the hurt that they often cause me. I hope soon that I can come out of my shell and be useful for Christ sake. I want to enjoy His people and minister to them. I want to consider it all JOY!
Let me know how you have learned to deal with Mom's who complain about their kids. Are you upfront with them or do you just pray for them, let me know :)
Six Plus Two
10 years ago
Thanks Alicia, for being open about how you're feeling. I can relate to that self-preservation! I have become so much more of a hermit than I ever imagined possible (short of talking to myself and never seeing the light of day - ha ha). I know it's hard to be around others, especially those who are insensitive or careless with their words.
ReplyDeleteI agree that this walk has made me more sensitive toward others who are struggling, specifically to my single friends who desire to be married.
Now, how do I handle the situations you mentioned? Well, unfortunately I mostly avoid them. But when that's not possible I try to put myself in their shoes and understand that parenting is not easy. I tend to think that my life will be perfect if I have kids, and I know that isn't true! I'm sure that it's a challenge every single day. Fortunately I have some great examples of some awesome parenting skills all around me, too.
Even though it's hard to hear the complaints, I try to ignore it or be as sympathetic as I can about it - knowing that no one's perfect. I think praying for them is a good idea.
(You should know, though, that I hate confrontation and try to avoid it!) :)
Thanks Stacey! I really hope that I can be more sympathetic and just learn to love them right where they are. Thanks for the help :)
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