Back to work

Let the games begin! I'm heading back to my former place of employment after a two year reprieve. While I'm so grateful for the income that this job provides many things about heading back are difficult. First I feel like a failure, "sigh." One reason why I left was because we thought that this job was perhaps too difficult on my delicate feminine frame (ha ha) and perhaps hindering my fertility. While I was working there many of the ladies would very often be asking me about my efforts to conceive or they would be curious to find out why I didn't have any children. Many of them knew that a reason why I left was to "try" to have a baby. So I'm sure my return will be met with plenty of questions regarding the baby making issue. I'm just praying for God's strength not to break down, to remain strong, and to answer any questions with wisdom and love.

Second this is the end of the road for "TTC." I think for my own sanity I'm putting away trying to conceive for a while, probably six months to a year....which is hard to do because I'm not getting any younger. Right now I don't even want to think about my cycle and the best time to ttc. I need a breather. These past three years have been life altering and have caused every thing to change. I will spend the next year or so focusing on other things that God has put in my path and putting my life back together by God's grace. I really need to heal and recover from the effects of infertility and so does our marriage. We need time to recoup and regroup by God's grace and discover together what amazing plans God has for us.

I think we want to do more date nights and little trips to reconnect with each other. What do you all do to keep your marriages strong and alive during infertility? Let me know :)

The "plan" for now is for us to fix our house up and quickly as possible so that we will be able to put it on the market asap. My husband would really like us to move out of state some where more affordable. You can pray for us because we haven't quite figured out when exactly to start the adoption process, now or when we are all moved and settled in? Life is crazy!!! God Is very good!!!

I just wanted to mention my sweet friend and sister in the Lord. I want honor her for her friendship and love and compassion on her infertile friend. She is expecting and "broke" the news to me very kindly and with such love. I'm very excited for her :) and I'm in awe! I feel badly that I can't be a normal friend and be told such things in a normal way. SO thanks dear friend for your compassion and your gentle care of a weaker sister. She said perhaps the sweetest thing any one has ever said to me. When I was leaving her house she said that she was hoping that we could be pregnant together. I know that she meant in and probably prayed for that to happen. Lord bless you sister, I'm praying for you. And please pray for her too. Many people are mocking her for having the faith to have children in this economy. I hate how many consider children a curse and a bother instead of blessings from heaven above.