Another Mother's Day came and went and still I have no offspring, sigh. Not even close. We have no infertility treatments planed for a number of reasons and adoption is on hold for a while for a number of different reasons. But God is at work in the world and in our hearts.
I hesitated whether or not I should go to church on Sunday, maybe you did too. Mothers day at church can be so hard, because Christians hold motherhood in such high esteem, as they should. Sometimes though its just to much for me to take and I can easily crumble upon hearing motherhood honored on a day when I want to forget about all my troubles and come and worship Jesus. However I really wanted to go and to worship the Lord. So I went and the Lord had mercy upon me and blessed me!
We arrived early because my husband was an usher that day. I shuffled off to the bathroom and when I was washing up the associate Pastors wife was there. She was kind enough to ask me how I was doing "today". Now she is maybe in her late 40's and has struggled with miscarriages and was never able to have a child with her husband. They did adopt a son and he is about 14 or so and doing really well.
She was sharing with me how even though this day doesn't hurt like it used to she still struggles with it because she was never able to have a child. So we talked for a good while about our infertility pains and I was so blessed by her wisdom and faith. It was so good for me to see how this trial really deepened her trust, love and knowledge of the Lord. She reminded me that even if I never have children that there is so much hope in Christ our Savior. I'm so thankful to have some one who understands and is willing to sacrifice her time to counsel me if I'm in need.
She also hit on how this trial can feel like punishment, but it's not and we need to submit our "feelings" and experiences to the word of God. That was such an encouragement because I often feel like I'm being punished or God is frowning upon me. Only because this trial feels so totally punishing in so many ways. But the Word of God tells me that He only chastens those whom He loves, that He is never displeased with me at all because I'm in Christ, that He works all of this for our good and His Glory, there is no condemnation in Christ. Honestly I could go on with a lot more.
I do pray that this trial would end soon but I have hope. The Lord has blessed me with Christians who have walked the road ahead of me and have more love for God now then they did before infertility broke their hearts and greatly humbled them. And they all count it as a blessing.
Six Plus Two
10 years ago
That was so true and right on! I can totally relate to having those same feelings! God sent that precious lady to you Sunday to remind you that He isn't angry with you at all. He loves you more than you can imagine and whatever happens in regards to your family He will guide you in it and through it so that it makes you more like Him. Thanks for the reminder. It was good for me.
ReplyDeleteAlicia, you are very brave for putting your feelings aside and going to church on Mother's Day (I haven't done that for a few years now). I'm so glad that God put someone in your path to encourage you on that day!
ReplyDeleteIt is so freeing to finally understand what you wrote about here - that in Christ there is no condemnation. Praise God for that, and for his unmerited grace!
Love ya, girl. Thanks for your constant support.
I am so glad that she was put in your path to help minister to you. My infertility truly pales in light to what you are experiencing. I am praying for you and I want you to know that your strength is inspiring to me. I'm so glad the Lord has crossed our paths. Hugs dear one.
ReplyDeleteI love you guys thanks for the support and the encouragement that you give me. You are gifts from above.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you, you are an amazing person and I consider you a great friend of mine. You always shine such a bright light for the Lord I know the Lord is pleased with you. Going to church on mothers day is hard, and I went also. And I thought before church that I would be hurt as they wished the mothers happy mothers day and talked about them. But as he was talking he said, and a happy mothers day to those who are not mothers yet, it just made me think that we are acknowledged. We are in a small church so it meant a lot to me. There are four of us in the church who are struggling with inferttility and it helps for someone to say something and reach out to us and show they care. And during church some of the members prayed for a few of us who were suffering and it meant alot. The Lord will send you strength and comfort in situations that seem impossible. Well I will hush now, I have some more things to tell you but I will email it to you. Some things that I would like you to be praying about for me.
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