Final day in my twenties

Well the day I have been dreading since this infertility journey has begun arrives tomorrow. Tomorrow I will have officially turned 30 and have a big fat zero amount of children. Amazingly God by His grace has not allowed me to plummet head long into despair. He is so faithful to answer prayers. Oh, don't get me wrong I am most certainly on the verge of tears every second it seems. But that's OK. I mean I have the ability to feel things God gave me this capacity. And to me I feel sad that I have no little ones to care for. No little ones to teach God's word to, no one to tuck in tonight and give kisses too, no dirty butts to change.
As the months have turned into years and I have seen others get pregnant, have baby, get pregnant, have baby. Its hard to keep the hope alive that some day that might be me. The Lord has so broken me that I no longer have hope in fertility tx or eating a special way, ect., my hope is in Him alone. Now I do believe that He can bless fertility tx or special efforts to conceive. For me He had to completely ride my heart of idolatry and false hope in doctors and fertility tx(They don't create life in the womb God alone does.)and depend completely upon Him.

Thank you Lord for Your Holy ways God, that I do not understand but I have faith in You and Your promises found in Jesus Christ and I trust that you are perfect and ALL POWERFUL. Thank you for this trial and purging me of false beliefs, I used to think that I was in control of MY womb now I know You are. Lord every piece of me belongs to You and for Your purposes. Lord for any of my sisters in Christ suffering through the pain of bareness please draw them closer to you. Please pick them up out of the dust and bless them abundantly. In Jesus precious Name Amen.